Are You Exquisitely Alive?
If you are not asking yourself that question, you probably are not answering with a resounding “yes!” Because you are not answering the question at all. Here’s what makes me think about that and my own answer regularly. It may not be the most pleasant way to consider the subject, but it is the most real.
A friend shared a note with me today from someone whose nephew had recently died. It said this:
“Funerals/Memorials/Celebrations of Life days are undoubtedly some of the hardest AND most meaningful that we will spend in Earth School. They require that we consciously stand in the void of nothing-will-ever-be-the-same and simultaneously link hands with the reality of abject loss and the miracle of OMG-I’m-still-here. We are most exquisitely alive when courageously bracing for the impact that someone we adore no longer is.”
I appreciate the bravery in that writing and the stark reality in it. And I get it.
Not Sure I Agree
I’m not sure that courageously bracing for impact is when we’re most alive. It may well be when we are most exquisitely broken open, followed by raw.
If you haven’t had a similar experience – which is hard to believe – really good for you. You will. These occasions are a part of life. And they do give rise to the opportunity to contemplate this subject of living fully.
My first experience with all this was in elementary school, losing my best friend from ballet class to a childhood cancer. There we were merrily dancing along, and then she was gone. At that age, I didn’t know to contemplate much about it or what it meant. It was just… stunning. Before I finished high school, among pets and farm animals, I also lost a godparent and grandmother – the only two older generation people I had ever met. While also hard, it seemed more in the order of things than the death of a child. Before the end of my first year of college, I also lost three other people, my dear brother, a best friend, and my first out of town boyfriend to apparent suicide.
Talk about stunning. This circle of life thing was really sinking in.
I spent years after, working on recovering from those traumas – once I realized they were traumas that had stunted my own living. And I got a lot better at noticing when and where I was fully expressing my own life energy. Pretty sure that has led me to the number of reinventions – course corrections – I’ve made in my own life.
And it’s why I help people make similar reinventions in their own. Because life is too short not to live it fully in all aspects important to each of us.
So, I disagree that “we are most exquisitely alive when courageously bracing for the impact that someone we adore no longer is.”
At such moments, I think we are not so much exquisitely alive as stunned into awareness.
It may damn well be when we realize we ought to be exquisitely alive. But for me at those times (and when remembering them), we are called upon to brace for the realization that WE each have been given this one particular, uniquely embodied ride on Spaceship Earth. Then we are left to wonder if we’re really doing all we can to truly make it exquisite…
At least that’s where it leaves me. And reminds me to cast off petty crap and focus on doing what stirs in me and really matters.
So, I said to my friend who shared this note: “let’s make sure that’s what we’re doing here together okay?” I was referring to the business projects she and I do together.
But it dawned on me there is a bigger “WE” in there. It includes anyone reading this (and everyone else), and it is at the heart of why I do the work I do.
Are You Doing What Really Matters To You?
What stirs in you, and really matters? Are you living that fully – regardless of what outside influences may have to say about it, or despite the resistance your own head creates to caution you? Do you back away? Because you have one precious life to make the most of. And you can make it what you want it to be.
Your energetic self may go elsewhere for some other purpose, or come back here in another configuration. Nobody’s really sure. But are you truly making the most of this go ’round?
If you are truly exquisitely alive and fully self-expressed with purposeful work, other meaningful involvements and enriching relationships, allowing you to make a positive difference and truly enjoy your life… that’s magnificent. That is “having it all” and yes, you can. In fact, I think that is in keeping with the grand design.
If not, and that’s the direction you want to go, I’m eager to help you get there. Because frankly, life is just too short to live it any other way.
About Dolly
Dolly Garlo, is a professional coach with multiple specialty certifications, and a background in healthcare, law and business. She works with professionals, small business owners, and senior executives in business and government service when they are ready for a change of direction in both work and life. Typically this occurs at mid-career, when anticipating early or full financial retirement, following a significant life event or sometimes just because the career ladder is leaning up against the wrong wall. When it’s time to make that move with clarity, confidence and support - to fulfill greater aspirations for more inspired living, purposeful work, confident leadership and even meaningful legacy… it’s time for a Masterful Life Redesign!
Learn more with my free guide, the Masterful Life Redesign Roadmap – get it here: Masterful Life Redesign Roadmap
Or, identify your best next move forward by applying for a New Directions Discovery Session
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