The Downside of Your Unique Brilliance
Every human being has a unique brilliance. It is the greatness and creative genius that resides in you, and may well be Why. You’re. Here. But there is a downside. Have you ever noticed there is always more to do?
“Unique Brilliance” is my term for it, but it’s a real thing. You have gifts, talents and experiences – heck, there’s your DNA – that no one else has. And, I believe, that design is for this good reason:
…so you can create solutions to problems in your corner of the world that no one else can, maybe no one else will, and definitely no one else approaches in the same way as you.
Realizing yours may have manifested in a professional pursuit, a service orientation, or a mission-driven sense for whatever you do. That’s wonderful – and can be very satisfying!
The Downside
Realizing and stepping into your unique brilliance often results in being very driven, committed to your work — which can lead to exhaustion. Couple that with the stresses of challenges that sometime arise in life or in what’s happening in the world and the things that need to be done can feel overwhelming.
It seems like there are needs everywhere.
You are good at looking past your own needs (until… exhaustion sets in), but being someone who has developed the grit to keep going, the desire to address the ones you care about can seem endless.
Does this ever result in someone complimenting you on all you’ve achieved, and your response is – “I don’t see that I’ve done very much. There is so much to be done!”?
(I literally had this conversation with a high achiever, highly accomplished client this morning…)
Well, while you are a little steam engine, you can only run so long without needing, well… more steam!
So, What To Do?
How do you decide, take action and feel like you are actually accomplishing something when it seems there is so much more to do? I have a couple of tips.
It helps to understand Cycles of Action and Gestation Rates.
These are principles I use in coaching clients to help them see where they are, and understand how things are unfolding, in order to reduce frustration about their progress in work and life. Because honestly, like them you are probably doing a LOT more than you give yourself credit for. You, too, may benefit from having a coach to remind you of that…
…and help you sort through how best to apply your unique brilliance in work — and still have a life…!
The Typical Cycle Of Action
You’ll recognize it. You probably already do it. And it’s not enough. A typical cycle of action looks like this: notice what needs to be done and get started, work on it, complete and wrap it up.
Usually, other things have come up in the meanwhile, either related to that cycle, that have spun off from it – or new issues that have been waiting in the wings for your attention.
It’s tempting (and pretty typical if you are this service minded, high achieving type…) to just dive into the next thing – and start THAT typical cycle over again.
Here’s The Problem: That’s NOT The Full Cycle
In addition to the start, work, and complete phases, there is one more: celebration!
Celebration is about recognizing that it’s done, how it turned out, and acknowledging the accomplishment. However, it is also about YOU: appreciating yourself for the time and effort, and giving yourself a little rah-rah pat on the back (which, as your coach I will insist on, and do, especially if you tend not to…).
This is not to be confused with how well it turned out. For celebration, that doesn’t matter. What matters is the commitment you made, the effort you put in, and whatever results you produced. Because ultimately, you learned something. That alone is a significant result, and important for moving forward.
Your celebration may also include a period of rest and relaxation. That’s an especially good idea: some time away, a focus on something else (like a little self-care, for instance) – these are actually still part of the action, ‘doing something.’ Rest IS a verb after all – it means to “cease work or movement in order to relax, refresh oneself, or recover strength.”
These aspects of celebration are important, before moving on to the next thing. Include it and THEN, you can move on.
If you don’t celebrate, what you do can feel ‘not done” – because something is missing.
Your spirit will literally nag you to finish the full cycle!
And DO remember this: you can’t do everything at once. And not everything is yours to do. Pick the things best suited to your unique brilliance.
Here’s the key: they will feel joyful.
Remember Gestation Rates
Different things take a different amount of time to accomplish. Any project can SEEM like it ‘should’ take less time. You may get impatient with the working phase or even the wrapping up completion phase. This is what tends to make many of us jump right over the celebration phase…
But it takes more time to grow a koala baby than an elephant baby. Both are important to the animal kingdom, not to mention adorably cute. But you can’t rush either one. And getting one takes longer than the other.
Here’s another animal kingdom analogy:
Without celebration, cycles of action can feel like running on an endless hamster wheel.
Celebration doesn’t come just at the end – it is important there, for sure. But it’s best if you infuse it throughout the process.
You’ve gotta jump off the wheel periodically and frolic in the wood shavings, burrow down in them and take a nice nap — or play with the other mice!
Remember that as you cycle through any action period, whatever amount of time it takes to finish what you are working to accomplish.
Do set reasonable time deadlines, but don’t waste life energy beating yourself up because it is taking longer than you thought – it may just have a longer gestation rate. As I tell my clients, decide how much time you think it ‘should’ take and then double that.
If you finish early, it will feel even better.
And that’s something to celebrate!
About Dolly
Dolly Garlo, is a professional coach with multiple specialty certifications, and a background in healthcare, law and business. She works with professionals, small business owners, and senior executives in business and government service when they are ready for a change of direction in both work and life. Typically this occurs at mid-career, when anticipating early or full financial retirement, following a significant life event or sometimes just because the career ladder is leaning up against the wrong wall. When it’s time to make that move with clarity, confidence and support - to fulfill greater aspirations for more inspired living, purposeful work, confident leadership and even meaningful legacy… it’s time for a Masterful Life Redesign!
Learn more with my free guide, the Masterful Life Redesign Roadmap – get it here: Masterful Life Redesign Roadmap
Or, identify your best next move forward by applying for a New Directions Discovery Session
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